Disembodied.

There's something comforting about listening to the non-visual voices of others. They are present yet unseen and they don't see me either. Or I see them and they don't see me. There's something sneaky about it and safe. No bodies makes everything less complicated. Life at a distance. A mildly removed distance which requires no expectations. I can be with them without them expecting me to behave a certain way. I can be sure they won't or can't judge me.

Not the end of the world

It's just a thing used for conveying. When the content has been conveyed the thing moves on or goes away. It is quite trivial compared to the essence of life. Focus on what is, not on what is not.

Rest

Sunday is still for me. I do what I choose from moment to moment. Sometimes I work. Often I read a mystery novel. Today while sitting in the sun. Lovely! I also cut the grass.

One thing I usually do is not check email. I let the dogs sleep. Monday I'll be ready for them.

Flits

Sudden urge to retire to bed and watch Inspector Morse episodes. Soooooooooo many things flit through the transom of my mind. I have meditation to thank for that awareness. It is a new drug I need to feel calm, centered, collected, and clear. hahahahaha The 4 Cs!

Anyway, a lot of urges attack me and now I have the luxury of being able to choose them instead of having them choose me.

Jupiter

Forms the head of the headless hunter. This explains praying to Jupiter. My feet itch.

Stupid

Sometimes I feel like god. I have so much experience, knowledge, and wisdom yet no one ever asks me to do anything.

Funny

Things make more sense yet I'm still afraid to jump.

Lucky

To have been in love twice. I hope for the third lucky charm.

Adversity from the peace demon

when everything arises as the antidote to ego clinging and my mind finds freedom with happiness and confidence, may I take all adverse circumstances as the path.

Always here

Thanks

Little moon

Why do I wake up when I go to bed?

Lately

I've been saying a lot of dumb stuff. Mostly about topics I'm no longer interested in and haven't thought about in a long time. There is a dearth of interest in my life. All I really wanna do is baby be friends with you and sleep on the beach.

Jupiter

Rolling across the sky
With that silent thunder
Ah shucks
It's not that mystical
Or poetical
You wake me.
That is all.

Words

Words are like days:
coloring books or pickpockets,
signposts or scratching posts,
fakirs over hot coals.

Certain words must be earned
just as emotions are suffered
before they can be uttered
– clean as a kept promise.

Words as witnesses
testifying their truths
squalid or rarefied
inevitable, irrefutable.

But, words must not carry
more than they can
it's not good for their backs
or their reputations.

For, whether they dance alone
or with an invisible partner,
every word is a cosmos
dissolving the inarticulate

—Yahia Lababidi

Moon

... And Venus with a Jupiter chaser.

When I asked if we could split the difference, I didn't mean a half moon.

Perhaps it's difficult for a rocky stellar being to comprehend us earthbound squishies.

Buddha sanga dharma

I go for refuge until I am enlightened.

Filthy lucre rumination

Can one ever feel good about its pursuit? Making is fine but loving the coin? I think not. Yet there is a respect for those able to generously provide. When I need it - filthy. When others have it - good.

There is great imbalance and little inclination to real charity; so few attempts to right the balance or to respect those at the low end of the scale. At least half the responsibility for their fortune is luck and another 25 percent accident of birth. In fact, so much depends on accident of birth and opportunity that individual wishes can only be a choice of what to amplify and what to reduce.

If I keep on in this way I'll have to conclude that my strong spirituality is also an accident of birth and circumstance. Except that spirituality is more easily acquired than money. Although, I guess that those who acquire money might say the same regarding its acquisition. In some ways it seems like taking more than is deserved; stealing from a pile others haven't found yet. Money seems finite and spirit infinite. The water that eternally removes thirst.

And what does acquisition of money bring but fear of loss, jealousy, hatred, envy, a hollow sense of never having enough, disparaging of those with less? It divides person from person when they ought to be caring and compassionate and helping one another because disaster comes to us all in the same chancing way without respecter of person.

So, we continue to use circumstances to make us cold and divisive when we could be making the world warm and loving. It's a matter of rights; of assuming one deserves some thing or a certain set of circumstances; in short desire for a thing which is an uninformed solution to a non-material need.

Most have lost the ability to understand their spiritual needs or the interdependent nature of our soul existence. There is a deep blockage and lack of training in being able to read the spiritual purposes of events. Most of us are spiritually illiterate, unable to process the deep and vital messages of the universe, unable to see the paths of energy.

And yet I continue to muse on the way of spiritual attainment of money and I don't mean being a priest or holding other religious office.

Perhaps this is a fruitless line of inquiry such as wondering how to make water from sand although there must be a closer relationship of spiritual to money than sand to water. While sand and water are different elements it is possible to do good with money and spirit is good. A tenuous connection?

You can't make me and neither can I

After years of meeting deadlines, accomplishing goals, holding it in and holding on, of doing my duty, working hard, being on time, and keeping appointments I just can't do it anymore. I have little tolerance for boredom or disinterest.

I'd like to try sitting on the beach for awhile and being content just to see what comes of it.

Happy New Moon

... to me, happy new moon to me, happy new moon, happy new moon, happy new moon to me. And many more!

Let's all be happy together for a change.

The stock market is broken.

While we languish they play craps against the curb. It is worse than the Romans masturbating on the ramparts. At least the Romans were on the walls pretending to make an attempt.

Others

It's better if those you love experience the catastrophe because then you're inspired and not crushed.

Youth

And she's pretty in a beautiful sort of way. And she's graceful with enchanting little mannerisms. I want to say to her, "One day you'll be old and that little head jiggle and lowered lids won't have quite the same effect they have today. One day you'll have to work for admiration."

Three Times

Cockroaches boring through a joint in the kitchen counter = natural disintegration of time, sadness, irritation. A hired worker had pulled out the trim to expose the damage and was preparing to repair it. But it wouldn't be the same.

Cardinal Wolsey
Close to my dream - flip horizontal and
black out the background.

"The purpose of tweeting is to pensieve," a renowned French intellectual said. He was suave and highly regarded and sexy. I interpreted by confirming with him that the purpose of twitter is to ponder. I passed the word on to a passing man who had been in the audience during the lecture. Much of the purpose of passing time is to ignite pondering.

I digitally cleaned up a medieval work of art with a black background, the profile of a man dressed in red. Possibly. There was a lot of red. A cardinal? While I worked I chatted with some kind middle aged highly respected man. He was impressed by my intellect. This is time as well - the old portrait - a profile. A decoration I intended to hang on the wall. An aspect fixed in time.

I hope pondering evokes additional nuanced meanings.

Blessed Beltaine

Not sure why it needs a blessing. Also Happy Floralia although I have been celebrating for weeks with irises. The goddess of flowers. What about the goddess of birds? That would be a February celebration.

Basically, what we need is to celebrate the earth more. With gratitude and love.

Forever in blue jeans

Identity

Reverential not holy. Sacred not adored. Respected not worshipped. Mindful not mindless. Intention not aimlessness. Leading not led. Liberated not ensnared.

1969

I was successful because I was not afraid. I didn't know I should be.

Yeah

I'm a hard ass sometimes. Comes from sitting around a lot.

Why is this here

Dreamed about Patanjali. Woke to Tim calling me while I peered into a shop window.

It was just one of those things. Like Snow White and the huntsman.

Irreverence

And failing to treat with respect everything you receive. Prolly the biggest mistakes of all.

Ben Franklin

Great. Now its dark again when I wake up. Flippin' government.

Validated

A little scared and yet thrilled when I discover I'm doing it right. Like, yes, I am a member of that club. Always was.

Apologies to Oscar Wilde

Really very pleased indeed by and with this warm winter. Allow me to give my gratitude.

Rarely

I listen to you playing piano and am immediately transported to the year when you toured Russia and made that movie. You angrily responded to my comments. That put even more distance between us. When the music is playing all that space and time disappear.

You know, you're playing that part now – the one I suggested you play – of a slightly deranged genius and it suits you well.

Which brings me here now, although it doesn't stop me from being there, too. And it doesn't matter. All that time is like water over the falls. Falling because it has to and making everything clean and beautiful with its mist.

Find god

Why? Is he lost? Typical male!

To trust again

My mission

Airplane

I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason why you're up there and I'm down here.

Dreary

Once upon a midnight in another age long ago and far far away.

No one

Anymore. Let this be a reminder: beer, only one, is enough to ruin me for days. Being aged sucks. Or maybe it's just my inability to release the past and think of myself in a different way. As a doddering old fool, for example. Or a rambling eccentric on the highway to spiritual transformation. Or maybe a woman suffering from insomnia. It could happen!

Ah! Anonymity! Why did I ever leave you? And when will my tea and toast arrive? And someone open the blinds. It looks lovely out there.

10 Years After

You thought I'd never get over you. Yet you see I've nearly forgotten you.

Today I recycled the lesser lovely greeting cards and the wretched letter of complaint detailing your faults and my anger. I've always been surprised by that letter because as time goes on your virtues grow and your faults disappear. Thus the way of loss and languishing. In another ten years you will be a dream in full and I will remember none of your disadvantages. Well, perhaps one or two of the more choice memorable ones.

However, I do not languish today. Today i rejoice and look forward to the future. I finished another crochet hat and I'm proudly wearing it right this minute. Ha!

Why do I like things that make me forget to breathe? And why can't I delete old music videos that I never watch?

Not my fault

I can't heed all your vague warnings. And you don't make it possible for me to do the obvious.

Another wish

This blog is beginning to take on a life.

When the moon and Jupiter are together my life is good. Especially if they are in Pisces.

I'm really good at writing vague sentences that can be taken more than one way. English teachers and editors hate me.

I'm a winner

Dream
I won both Facebook and Google+. I claimed each prize separately so neither would know I had won the other.

I have a headache. I despise being locked in for the winter. I would rather be somewhere south of here. Like at the equator. Why can't I win that?